Dirty Pairathon

Did you see the December sale they had on Rightstuf.com? Holy crap, that was amazing, and I probably splurged on more anime than I should have. Among my greedy purchases was a triple feature of Dirty Pair movies, which I caved in on because I'd seen and enjoyed Project Eden, though the other two were unfamiliar to me. Since they were short, I went through them all in rapid-fire succession, and here are my brief thoughts.

The first feature, Affair of Nolandia, was...interesting. Interesting in that weird 80s OVA way, where dumping a load of ridiculous sci-fi cliches onto a budget that clearly can't support them results in something that isn't good, but more memorable than it has any right to be. The story is quite simple: Kei and Yuri must locate a girl who's apparently psychic, and a journey through a mysterious forest with plenty of esper-related hijinks takes up the first half. The second half is dedicated mostly to fights and chases as the real bad guys show their hand.

Two things stuck with me after viewing this. First, the animation was quite poor, with many repeated sequences throughout. It was also pretty unimaginative. For instance, the strange forest Kei and Yuri venture through is supposed to be this unreal place teeming with bizarre life. What do these strange creatures look like, you ask? Rats, mostly, with a few jellyfish floating through the air. Oh, and some unicorns, which look like someone stuck a horn onto an off-color horse. Only once did the art seem exceptionally detailed, during a close-up shot of a cyborg that lasted a second at most. Someone on staff must've really wasted to draw a robot.

Second, the ending. What the hell? Without spoiling things, let's just say things get incredibly dark out of left field. I've seen some cruel endings, and plenty of endings using black humor, but not one that gets simply brushed aside by such an incredibly stupid line out of Yuri. This is what you're going to take away from the experience, and leave us with?

Despite being average to below-average material for the time, I had fun with this. Average doesn't really describe Project Eden, though. Try glorious. Gloriously 80s, gloriously cheesy, and gloriously action-packed. There is so much effort put into making the design look cool, into the insert songs, into the opening and ending sequences that it's a little mind-boggling; I never heard the franchise was a big enough hit to attract this loving care. There is virtually nothing to complain about with this movie, except that it might be a little sexist.

The offender, proud thief Carson D. Carson, actually has remarkably good chemistry with Kei and Yuri; all three are that familiar combination of skilled professional and roguish screw-up. Whenever they talk, it seems like they're on the same level. But Carson is frequently either saving the duo or putting one over on them, while Kei quickly falls in love with him (maybe it's his near-constant lack of a shirt?). They just don't feel like equals, when they should. In addition, he gets at least half of the dramatic and badass scenes towards the end. True, those scenes are still badass, but it seems odd to place such emphasis on a one-off character in a film about the Dirty Pair.

Of course, this isn't enough to really detract from the experience. Hell, if anything it adds to the cheesy goodness. Anyone who seeks out quality animation or just wants to see girls with big hair chase a cackling mad scientist will get a kick out of this one.

Moving on to Flight 005 Conspiracy didn't exactly feel like a letdown by comparison, but it felt safe. Much too safe. The premise departs from the crazy sci-fi stuff to take a straight-up conspiracy-thriller angle, much like you'd see from Hollywood. The standard plot is the biggest weakness in my opinion, as nothing much here sticks in the memory. The bad guys are all your standard undercover government agent types. We're zipped from location to location, but none of them pops like the secret laboratory or even the forest of the first two features. Worse, at least for me, were the numerous exposition scenes when we're told which organization did what and why. My tiny brain is allergic to government politics, and tends to rebel when there's no Patlabor 2-level atmosphere drawing me in.

This does not have such a level of atmosphere; few things do. One bright spot is the bar scene, which has a hilariously over-the-top moment I didn't expect. Wish I had more to say about this one, especially considering how much better-made than Affair of Nolandia it is. But Flight 005 Conspiracy felt only competent, and not much else.

Frankly, while I wouldn't have bought two of the features on their own, Project Eden alone is more than worth the price I paid. And even if the two thirds of the total package weren't nearly as entertaining, they at least helped familiarize me with a franchise I wasn't immersed in before.

But the fun doesn't stop here! I also purchased the Dirty Pair OVA series during the same sale, and you'll hear my thoughts on that in the future.

What are your thoughts on these features, or the franchise in general? Anything similar you'd recommend? I chose not to but the also-cheap Dirty Pair Flash; did I make a mistake, or dodge a bullet?