Here Come the Fuzz

 Hey, all! Just a short entry today, since the subject is a short anime that only just started running.

I find myself only rarely watching the handful of bite-sized anime that inevitably airs alongside “proper” shows. Very seldom does any short live long in the collective memory, so I figure why spend the extra three to seven minutes per week when I'm watching too much already? Well, this season I'm glad I went out on a limb. The world must know of Sushi Police.

As the 2020 Olympics approach, Japanese cuisine rises in popularity worldwide, particularly sushi. But with that push in popularity comes a rash of restaurants serving subpar sushi. That's where the Sushi Police comes in. Are you using inauthentic ingredients, or experimenting with sushi to create unconventional new flavors? Enjoy watching your restaurant burn, asshole.

Most of the humor comes from the leader, Honda, and how seriously he takes his . . . very odd job. It's also funny how intolerant our “heroes” are towards people who don't mean any harm. Throw in a little slapstick violence and racial insensitivity, and you have Sushi Police in a nutshell. There's a high volume of laughs for just a three minute runtime, so dig right in while it's still fresh.

A Light Burden

With a new season upon us, it's that time once again when we decide which shows are worth following. But how to separate the good shows from the bad, armed with little more than a staff list and paragraph-long synopsis? Well, I've found myself following a tragically useful rule: don't watch what's based on a light novel.

Of course I hate myself for saying this. It's wrong to damn one genre completely for any reason; there will be both good and bad representatives at any given time. But there's such a glut of samey me-too content right now that I feel like taking a break from light novel adaptations for a while.

How did it get this way? It would be easy to blame Sword Art Online, the critically-panned series that nonetheless enjoys insane profits. But light novel adaptations have been around for years before, not only selling well but winning praise also, such as Gundam Unicorn, Spice & Wolf, and the Bakemonogatari franchise. Others may not have made bank right away, yet remain fan favorites. How many times has Baccano been given a physical release? Likewise, Durarara took a few years to get a sequel, but it's doing fine now. True, it wasn't until Sword Art Online's unexpected success that anime producers seemed to collectively say, “Let's milk the shit out of this genre”, but blaming this one show would just be unfair considering what came before.

That lazy attitude is the biggest strike against current light novel adaptations. I'd happily watch more if the shows covered a healthy variety of topics, but they don't. Seriously, try to find one where the hero isn't attending superpowered magic high school or trapped in a video game. Beyond that, you can just go down a checklist: the main character is arbitrarily weak but secretly the strongest, there's a harem of potential lovers after him, and everyone will waste countless minutes explaining how this world is actually so much more complex and works better than all those other identical fantasy settings. Seemingly zero effort is made to make the show unique in any way, which might actually be the case; I've heard rumors that making even a subpar adaptation is guaranteed to significantly boost sales of the actual novel, so maybe that's the true goal. Regardless, why should we the viewers dump our time into a story we've heard many times before?

Surprisingly, I find hope by looking at the recent history of moe anime, which has already gone through a similar cycle. Starting with acclaimed works like Azumanga Daioh, it soon devolved into a deluge of feel-good fluff. Now there's not only fewer such shows out there, they're better. I find many series by PA Works tend to tend to write their characters with complex thoughts and emotions despite them having the trademark huge eyes, no noses, and generally squishy faces of moe designs. Last year's School Live! ambitiously combined that genre with horror to produce some surprisingly heartfelt moments. Long story short: the fans stopped buying the load of samey crap thrown their way, so the creators had to put more effort in to keep selling.

Even if we are in the middle of a dry spot for creative content, I can't actually boycott light novel adaptations one hundred percent. The Bakemonogatari franchise is still great, as it has been for years before this started. And every so often something will stick out from the crowd for better (Shimoneta) or worse (Gate), so of course I have to investigate; hell, I'm following one or two such shows this season because they generated decent buzz. But in general I've become much, much more cynical towards the genre because it's given me few reasons not to. Not until we collectively act like self-entitled snobs will creators throw out that imaginary checklist and start making light novel adaptations with more care and variety. Let's face it, that day can't be too far off; who acts snobbish better than anime fans?

It's a . . . Gundam?

Gundam fans are notoriously hard to please. They want each new Gundam show to be fresh and different from the original while still feeling like a Gundam show. Pretty vague, right? Since the original Universal Century Gundam was a fairly complex story that worked on many levels, though, fans disagree over what exactly should and shouldn't be carried over to the next spin-off universe. Politics? Wacky hijinks? Complex characters? Hell, what should the robots even look like? Inevitable profits aside, it's a no-win situation for Sunrise executives. But with the currently-airing Iron-Blooded Orphans, I think they might have achieved the impossible in creating the least-Gundam Gundam show yet, but in the best way possible.

The quick-and-dirty version of this story goes something like this: humanity has migrated to space, but is still ruled by the Earth-centered government. Mars in particular wants independence, with young noblewoman Kudelia the symbolic spokesperson for that viewpoint. She attempts travel to Earth in hopes of negotiations, hiring a mercenary group for escort, but various factions see this as a threat to their interests and attack. Amid and because of the resulting chaos, the war-orphans-turned-enhanced-child-soldiers used as disposable pawns by the mercenaries rebel against their superiors. Led by Orga and Mikazuki, they then take control of the mercenary group, dubbing it Tekkadan, and attempt to navigate the ins and outs of running a dangerous business among treacherous political waters, all the while trying to get Kudelia to Earth.

Plot-wise it all sounds pretty standard, but this show makes its first risky move with its handling of the Gundam Barbados itself, a well-designed, spear-wielding mecha left over from a war in ages past.

We barely ever see it.

Yes, the franchise-leaving robot, as well as all lesser machines, has barely a handful of appearances over the first thirteen episodes. There's no impassioned monologues from anyone about how cool and important the Gundam is, what it stands for, or how they must find the heart of the Gundam. Just a casual mention of a repair or upgrade is all we hear of the machine. Rarely do we glimpse it outside the few combat scenes, which incidentally, are much better-animated and rely heavier on actual tactics than your typical Gundam show. For a franchise that depends so much on selling the idea of mecha so they can sell the actual toys of them, that takes some serious balls.

So, if it isn't even covertly about the robots, what exactly is Iron-Blooded Orphans about? In a word, family.

Sure, a simple and obvious concept, given that there are orphans here. The trope of loners without blood relatives forming a makeshift family with each other is a stale one at best, but it's actually done pretty well here through efficient use of the characters; that is, we're shown everyone's perspective on family through their background. Tekkadan leader Orga initially thinks only of his group's safety and wellbeing, and jumps to sacrifice himself for them at every opportunity, which is exactly what he did when under the thumb of the self-interested mercenaries. He learns through interactions with Naze Turbine's . . . unconventional family that this close-minded attitude could endanger his comrades, and being open to outside help and ideas will probably make them all live longer. Other characters struggle with high-born parents for whom politics may be more important than one's own kin, or with siblings who directly threaten their makeshift family's safety. All this is put forth via the characters' natural interactions rather than explanatory dialogue, another relative rarity in the Gundam universe.

Mind you, there are plenty of weaknesses to be found. All that focus on family leads not only to the aforementioned sparse fights, but also to a slow pace in general. Some characters are dead weight, doing nothing except offering a different perspective. They may have larger roles later, and the plot may gradually be building up to some grand statement about its themes, but I'll definitely feel cheated if all this waiting and character-building doesn't lead into an above-average finale. The relative lack of robots may be a minus for some, and the lack of good villains even more so; all bad guys with, one exception, are cartoonishly evil and don't last more than a few episodes. Said exception, while somewhat interesting and complex, has thus far done almost nothing and has no serious quarrel with our protagonists. It sounds crass of me, but sometimes you need a pretty boy to put on a dumb mask and start shooting things.

I still think the show is worth recommending. Sure, it's not the slam-bang action show, or complex meditation on war some of us may have hoped for. But it is a very focused show that follows a sympathetic, evolving group of characters without using action as a crutch. More impressively, it stands alone from the Gundam franchise, moreso than any spinoff I've seen to date. In my book, those two things are cause for celebration.

2015 Year in Review

2015 has come and gone, marking my first year of writing in this blog. As such, I'd like to take a look back and recap what stood out to me personally over the past twelve months.

The Good

Shirobako definitely tops my list of best show this year; even though only the second half technically aired in 2015, it included some of the most powerful moments. One Punch Man remains one of the most lavish, loving adaptations of an already-great manga, and Ore Monogatari! Still gives me warm fuzzies whenever I think of it. Prison School raised the bar for filthy, uncomfortable jokes done incredibly well, with Shimoneta trailing not too far behind. And even if they don't get quite as much mainstream attention, I always love it whenever I get another small piece of the ongoing Bakemonogatari or High School DxD franchises. This year we got both, so I'm a pretty happy camper right now.

The Bad

Gate sticks out in my mind as the most irresponsible show this year, spouting the immature message that the only consequence of invading a more primitive country is an avalanch of cute girls and victory. Ranpo Kitan: Game of Laplace ruined its playful, somewhat arts atmosphere with unrealistic, irritating characters and contrived mysteries and plot points. Likewise, Sailor Moon Crystal showed us how badly sacrificing the characters' personality for plot can go wrong (as well as sacrificing animation budget . . .), while Gundam: Reconguista in G just didn't know what the hell was going on. With anything.

The Stats

Not counting my introductory post or the season-in-review articles, I posted 30 times over the past year. All told, I wrote almost 30,000 words, or about a 45-page document on my OpenOffice word processor.

The Goals

Because what's a New Year's post without some resolutions? My goal most immediately relevant to this blog would be to post more often, or at least more consistently. My average number of articles dropped significantly as the year went on, with some serious gaps between them. Hopefully I can fix that with a little effort. Also, I'd like to get more followers, since my current number of readers is . . . very, very few. Maybe this can be helped with a little touching-up of the site for more user-friendliness, but I'm guessing the best route would be to check out other successful blogs. See what works and what doesn't for them. Maybe post some feedback of my own if I expect to get any myself. Finally, I want to significantly reduce my backlog (as I always say I should) and attend a local convention or two, since I didn't get the opportunity to this past year. Here's to a great 2016!

Fall 2015 Overview

This was quite a strong season overall; there were few, if any shows I'd actually call weak, and many pleasant surprises. So let's get to it, shall we?

Concrete Revolutio

I, like most other watchers, don't know exactly what to make of this show. It's quirky and convoluted to a fault, though that's arguable part of its charm. My main problem would be the show's message, or what I perceive as the show's message: there is no such thing as true justice, as even supposed evildoers have their reasons for doing things. That's way too simple a message for a show as ambitious as this, and the characters all seem like idiots for constantly failing to grasp this idea. At least it's a colorful, energetic diversion.

Valkyrie Drive: Mermaid

Having seen a number of Hiraku Kaneko-directed shows, I thought he was good only with the fanservice-related aspects of anime and nothing else. While no doubt a master at gathering well-endowed girls onscreen, their personalities tended to awaken my strangling instincts. Valkyrie Drive: Mermaid forces me to rethink my opinion of this director; these characters are actually endearing! Many have strong motivations, there's a distinct undercurrent of loss and homesickness throughout, and as a result the show is surprisingly watchable. Oh, bare nipples are still shoved in our faces at every opportunity, which will no doubt turn people off. But this is the first time I've watched a Kaneko show and honestly felt that the characters represented more than their respective cup sizes. Well done.

Gundam: Iron-Blooded Orphans

A solid show overall, but one I do have reservations about. There'll be a write-up on this shortly, so stay tuned for that. Let me assure you right now that it is a major step forward after Gundam: Reconguista in G.

Ushio & Tora

Pretty similar to the first cour, only this one focused solidly on advancing the plot rather than monster-of-the-week adventures. So, a slight improvement, even.

Osomatsu-san

Read my article on the subject for more detail, but I'll say here that it's a great show. Probably the unexpected comedy hit of the year, considering its modest, obscure origins.

Kagewani

I'd hinted previously that I didn't like this show, but I certainly don't hate it. While certainly failing at horror, it more or less woks as a cheesy, shorter version of those Syfy channel original movies. Okay, not exactly a glowing recommendation, but there's a respectable audience for such things.

Kowabon

Unfortunately I can't give a final impression on this show because English subtitles have been almost impossible to come by. Though succeeding at actual horror unlike Kagewani, it can't boast a definitive climax like the other show. How can I say Kowabon is a truly good show if it may drop the ball at the end? Well, FI loved the seven episodes we got so far, and hope to complete it someday soon.

Attack on Titan Junior High

A fun little show if you approach it with the right attitude. Unlike some other recent comedies, this one really can't be called creative, but its single joke worked pretty well over the show's run. And of course the characters were fun to watch; I was actually surprised how well they lent themselves to comedy. Of course, newcomers to the franchise need not apply.

The Perfect Insider: Everything Becomes F

Finally, a good mystery show! One that doesn't faceplant at the end, or talk down to the audience, or put on airs of pretention to hide its bullshit! Some critics disagree with me on these points, of course,. But after the trainwreck ending of Rokka no Yuusha and the fedora-wearing middle finger of Ranpo Kitan: Game of Laplace, it feels great to enjoy a mystery from beginning to closing.

Owarimonogatari

I get the feeling I tend to turn a blind eye to this show's faults, given how intimate my familiarity and love for the whole franchise is. But this show had some particularly great moments, mostly involving Oikura, Shinobu, and of course Ougi (one of my favorite villains ever). Sure, I wished some parts wre as visually interesting or well-animated as previous installments. But that doesn't really dampen a good story much, one that I can't wait to see more of.

One Punch Man

Do I even need to describe how much fun this show is? Just watch it now, or you'll soon be left behind by the rest of fandom.

And that does it for the most recent season! Next one seems to have fewer shows I'm familiar with through franchises and/or creators, so we'll see how that turns out!

The Right Kind of Sucking

I think I've found it. A bona fide so-bad-it's-good classic. An anime that touched me in much the same way Angel Cop touched me; so wrong, yet so right. Its name is Dracula: Sovereign of the Damned.

Now, you wouldn't really expect something from way back in 1980 to leave that sort of impression on anyone; when older shows and movies get bad, they generally don't get memorably bad. And the directors had worked on plenty of well-regarded shows, with the comedy Doctor Slump probably bearing their most distinct creative fingerprints. By all accounts, this is quite the faithful adaptation of a Marvel Comics series (as evidenced by the Western designs), though I'm admittedly unfamiliar with the comics' quality. The only thing I know for sure is that creatures of the night wouldn't have their dignity steamrollered like this until Twilight.

Dracula himself is actually this TV special's main character, or butt-monkey to be more accurate. And as it turns out, he's actually a really nice guy! But that darn Lucifer's always bringing him down, man, so the mountain of bodies to Dracula's name really aren't his fault. He even tries to stick it to the man by kidnapping a Satanic church's sacrifice, but ends up falling in love with her at first sight. They have a kid together.

Are any of you buying all this? Good, because the movie throws it at us in the first thirty minutes, before things start getting weird.

It isn't until the child, Janus, is a few months old that Lucifer realizes he's been screwed, and orders a trap laid for the vampire. Up until now Dracula's lover, Dolores, has renounced her devil-worshiping ways as a simple mistake of youth: “I agreed to become the bride of Satan as a lark”, as she herself puts it. She's instantly willing to take up the Satanic Church's mysterious offer to baptize and protect her child, however. Hey, they must offer some pretty good protection. It's a trap, of course, as they attempt to weaken and kill Dracula by . . . lowering metal shutters in front of the windows with crosses painted on. Did the church come equipped with metal shutters for the windows, or did they have to be specially installed? Did any of the devil-worshipers feel conflicted about painting crosses all over their church? These are not questions Dracula: Sovereign of the Damned cares to ask. Regardless, my plot description ends here because some twists no description can do justice.

While the plot certainly provides much amusement for reading like a bad dream after drinking too much spiked punch at Halloween, the characters themselves also hold their own. There's a trio of vampire hunters with an evil-detecting dog (!) who you expect to be the good guys, but end up more like a Greek chorus. They always end up standing within crossbow range of Dracula while he's distracted by/fighting something else, only for their wheelchair-bound leader to say, “Wait, let's see what happens here”. Then he helpfully explains to his comrades (and the audience) what just happened, but not until Dracula leaves. 

The really funny part is, they never hide themselves well, yet Dracula never acknowledges them unless they directly confront him! They pass each other on the street! I just like to imagine what he's thinking: “Who're these crossbow-bearing youngsters who just show up at all the important events of my life? Ah, well, maybe they'll go away if I keep ignoring them . . .” Dolores is your standard tragic woman, bemoaning how she can never again find true happiness in life. You joined the Church of Satan and married Dracula yourself, honey. And let's not forget the vampire of the hour himself.

Earlier I hinted at how ridiculous it is to portray Dracula as a good guy, but that's really what the movie wants us to think. His need to drink blood and the destruction it causes is forgotten when inconvenient; it's never shown what he does for food when living a peaceful life as husband and father at the beginning. They play up that he was a good man when alive, and only impaled all those people to make a point (bah-dum-tiss), a mistake he's apparently more than paid for the now by . . . doing the devil's work. Yeah, you figure out how that works. All I care about is the script's desperation to make Dracula the underdog, which eventually results in his vampiric powers being stripped and humanity restored.

He still dresses as a motherfucking vampire.

Seriously, at no point does he think to ditch the flowing black and red cape to blend in, and being powerless he just keeps getting his ass kicked by pretty much everybody. Thus, we have the audience are treated to scene after scene of what looks like the biggest failure of a vampire ever. Even better, not a single character who sees him think this guy might be a vampire, despite dressing exactly like Bela Lugosi. They'll just let the nice man in a cape who's being chased by zombies or whatever into their home without question! I'm not sure my suspension of disbelief will ever be the same.

Dracula: Sovereign of the Damned is a must-watch for anyone who loves entertaining garbage. It's pretty amazing how seriously the plot takes itself while throwing such loads of batshit (!) crazy at us. You can watch it here now, or make a date to see it next October. But be warned: you may never take vampires seriously again.

Let's Have Fun!

 

I count it a good anime season if we get a comedy that's actually funny. Not a lot of Japanese gags translate very well, and it's hard enough to write new gags and/or reinvent old ones that I'd estimate the majority of shows worldwide don't even try. Osomatsu-san tries, and it translates pretty well, but it's a weird enough show that I thought I'd analyze its success a little.

The current show is a continuation of sorts of Osomatsu-kun, a 57-episode show from way, way back in 1966, remade in 1988 as a 86-episode show, based on a simple gag manga. Sounds like a surefire recipe for success already, right? Luckily, right from episode one it's clear that Osomatsu-san knows what it's doing.

Fittingly enough, the show opens with the characters themselves exclaiming, “Holy shit! We got another season!?” The black-and-white cast then enacts a few obviously old-time gags before acknowledging, “Okay, those didn't age well. This isn't going to work.” The rest of the episode shows the cast attempting to be popular by mimicking (read: making fun of) what's popular today, from Attack on Titan to Yowamushi Pedal.

This irreverence, I think, is one of the keys to making a solid comedy. Nothing is sacred, least of all the show itself, and it earns a lot of goodwill by inviting us to laugh at that fact. Osomatsu-san then turns the joke around by showing us that what's “cool” right now is just as predictable and stupid. I like comedies which push boundaries rather than stay safely inside them, and Osomatsu-san certainly fits the bill; turns out its previous incarnations were decried by PTA groups as being unsuitable for children. Toilet humor and jokes relying on sadism abound, as well as the lampooning of cultural stories and icons. Just checkout the fallout when they took on Anpanman.

Not that Osomatsu-san is exclusively about parody. Most times it just does . . . whatever the hell it wants, which brings us to tits second major strength: the characters.

These are simple characters, each one bearing maybe one or two distinguishing traits. You can tell which sibling's which after a few episodes by how they act; Karamatsu is always trying to be cool, Jyushimstau is excessively hyperactive and stupid, Ichimatsu is a quiet yet moody loner, etc (it also helps that each is color-coded). They have simple wants, and probably the best comedy comes in not giving them what they want. One skit, for instance, sees Todomatsu win big at Pachinko, only to realize that he must now find a way to hide this from his five brothers, who will no doubt eat away at the jackpot until there's nothing left. We watch the two sides fight it out until, inevitably, Todomatsu loses. Side characters follow these same rules, such as Iyami, who carries one of my favorite gags. Throughout the show this snob idolizes France as the pinnacle of culture even though he's never been there. He discovers a certain wonder-mineral one episode that lands him fame and fortune, culminating with France's offer to grant him full citizenship in exchange for it. The mineral then gets snatched by a hawk and dropped into a volcano. Iyami desperately hides this fact, and succeeds . . . until he's disembarking the airplane with one foot poised above French soil. Only then is his ruse uncovered, and Iyami shoved back on the plane without ever touching his beloved France. Too bad!

Actually, that segues into another strength I touched a bit on before: how over-the-top it is. We've seen the above gag before where some important item is comedically lost, but not many shows have said item thrown into a volcano. Likewise, the joke where an acquaintance or family member goes to their friend/relative's workplace and tries to make them look bad is nothing new. What is new is one of the brothers attempting to shit on a cafe patron's plate in order to accomplish this. People don't get smacked with a paper fan much in Osomatsu-san, they get blown up with rocket launchers, kicked off cliffs, or shot in the head. There's blood. That's why their comedy makes me laugh when so many others don't; it's not afraid to offend, so I'm always watching to see how far it'll go.

Comedy is such a weird genre that, naturally, there's no guarantee everyone will laugh at this show. But considering its dated origins, did anyone expect to laugh at Osomatsu-san? I sure didn't. It seems some concepts age pretty darn gracefully with a little polish and care, and that's really something to smile about.